The following was written by Sister #2 and I am saving it here to share with my son when he is further along in his healing journey.
Day 25: I am thankful for the couple that adopted my brother. To
be honest it hasn't always been easy to accept. I felt like I should have done
something, I should have somehow been more, but at the end of the day I know
that I try so hard to be everything to everyone and that I can't always do
everything. The family is great, they are Christian, they are happily married,
they have a support system, and I know they are raising him with good values
and I thank God for placing him in a good home with people who truly do care
about him and his future and who saw his situation and didn't just go quietly.
I am so sorry for all my brother endured, for what my sister is still enduring,
for all we all faced and I can only hope and pray that this gives him a chance
to live a different life, to be more, to learn more, to lean on God, to take a
different path and be the man of God that I know he now has the chance to be.
So thank you Mrs. and Mr. for giving him a chance at a different life and
loving him like we do, and for doing something we weren't in a position to do.
I pray constantly for him, for your guidance with him and for him to know that
we love him very much. God Bless you!!
I wanted to do so much. I tried to help so much. My grandma and
I kept calling CPS and they kept turning us away and we kept calling yet still.
I didn’t understand how they could step foot in that house and deem that okay.
I didn’t understand how they could talk to two small children or even as they
got older and not see their educational needs weren’t being met. They weren’t
thrown into brick walls, weren’t beat black and blue like we were but they were
abused the same. Emotional, mentally and educationally they were abused. Sister
#3 still is. I remember one time a CPS lady came to my house and sat down and
talked to me, and I had Teenager and Sister #3 with me and their mother wasn’t
there so I thought, this time something will be done! This time they will tell
the truth and this lady will see that something has to be done! This time they
will see that they have somewhere to go and they have family that loves them
and they will be able to get away from this woman and this lifestyle. I showed
the lady the closet of clothes I kept for the kids, and the drawers of books,
and home school materials and socks and shoes etc. I explained to her that the
items their mother provided were too small, had holes in them, were not
adequate for the cold or heat etc. I told her they were not being home schooled
as she stated and if she would just test them she could see. I told her they
were scared of Sonja and they would have a hard time speaking out on her. I
told her that I had a home and my husband and I would love to have them come
live with us and go to school and have clothes that fit and bed that didn’t
come out of the trash and a loving caring home where they weren’t screamed at
and mistreated. I thought she heard me. She even talked to the kids
individually. And when it came down to it, they did nothing. Sister #3 and Teenager
both told the lady they weren’t home schooled often, the lady saw they weren’t
on the level they needed to be, she admitted that to me. But she said Biological
Mother went to some home school place in ____ and produced a letter stating
that she had a right by the laws of Texas to home school her children, that the
CPS office would be sued if they pursued the matter further because it was
violating her rights and they just dropped it! She also said they visited the
home but that she was cleaning it up and the lady said she felt that Biological
Mother loved the children but perhaps she just needed support and I should
continue to be a source of support for them but that, that was all they could
do! They even had my then husband’s statements and what he witnessed. I went
through this time and time again. Each time their excuses and dismissals were
more insulting. We were failed as children my older sister and I and I just
felt each time that the system was so flawed and she was such a good liar and
manipulator that she would never be caught and they would never get help just
like we didn’t. We’d continue to be told “If we took every child from their
home we’d have every child and no homes for them to live in.” The system is seriously
flawed. The children pay for it. I don’t know how these people go home at night
and live with themselves! I wanted to sue the CPS office once Sister #3 finally
told that CPS worker she wanted to go to school and they convinced Biological
Mother to put them in school!! If they had done something sooner, if they had
tested the kids, if they had listened to everyone who tried to stand up for
them. I thank God because it really did take a special couple and a grave
amount of evidence, an abundance of prayer, a vital role from the outside in Teenager’s
life, and a big support system to get him out of there and something done. We
tried. I don’t think anyone realizes how much we tried. But God had another
plan. And it’s not that I want to doubt God’s plan but for the longest time I
thought why not us? Why couldn’t he let something happen sooner? Why couldn’t
we have taken the kids in when they were 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 when we were
reporting this early on.. or even when they were 10 and 11 and 12?? But when I
saw your post about Teenager dating I think I realized a couple of things. Were
still suck in the cycle. Were still trying to break it ourselves. We are very
far from the damage and we’ve taken great strives to be better than what we
came from but were still fighting it. Maybe God had to have him go through
enough to always remember and realize how bad it was, and how good he has it.
God had to have him go to a family that was in a happy healthy relationship,
who was strong, who was prayerfully diligent, who could break the chains of
this abuse, of this generational relationship failure. God needed him
surrounded by a church family that loved him. Not that we couldn’t do some of
those things but God needed an outside source to really bring about that change
and create the man of God he intends Teenager to be. Perhaps we were just too
close to home. Perhaps Biological Mother would have just kept being like a
weight on their ankles if they were with family, like she did to me when I
lived with my grandmother and she kept pulling me back. I am sure there are
many reasons for Gods plan and I trust him and know enough about Gods will to
know not to question it any further. I just thank you guys for being an answer
to prayer. For getting him out of that horrible situation. So many people just turn
their back, cause its “not their business” and they walk away and I thank you
for not doing that. I thank you for being exactly who Teenager needed and who
he could confide in, for being the couple God needed to bring him out of this,
to show him a better life, to be the example of healthier relationships, and I
thank you for the very real and liberating chance he has now to be successful
and to overcome it all like no one else could provide for him.
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