Visitation

I have accepted the facts as the facts. It doesn't lessen the hurt in my heart from knowing them. It doesn't mean that what happened in my son's past was ok. It just means that what happened is what happened, and it will never change. I accept that.  I accept that it was my son's normal. I accept that when we got him, he was so broken that what truly is normal was uncomfortable for him. I accept that so much has transpired to bring about progress. But, we have made PROGRESS! Adoption changes every single person in the family.  My son has made progress that is obvious to all.  I, however, have made more personal progress.  Real, ugly, emotional, important progress. I do not hate my son's first mother. I do not feel bitterness and anger towards her anymore. I have worked and worked and worked and worked and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed my way through that. I accept her. I accept that she did the best that she could do. I accept her so that my son finds acceptance. I accept her so that my son likes all parts of himself. I accept her so that my son feels confident in whatever decisions he makes in regards to his relationship with his first mother.  Christ commanded me to and gave me time and grace as I worked through all of my emotions.  Thank you, Jesus. His first mother has supervised visitation for a total of four hours per month in another city. For the first time ever, she decided to use what she was given. My sister-in-law supervised. He talked about his family, shared about his grades, and listened. He was respectful. He felt safe.  It was good. It took some coaching to get him to the point that he could say that it was good, but it was. It was good!